(Sung to the theme song of the Beverly Hillbillies)
Come listen to a story
'bout a man named John,
A poor ex-marine with his little wanker gone.
It
seems one night after gettin' with the wife,
She lopped off his dong with the
swipe of a knife.
Penis, that is.
Clean
cut.
Missed his nuts.
Well, the next thing you know
there's a Ginsu by his side,
And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a
ride.
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend,
Tossed him out the
window as she went around a bend.
Curve, that is.
Tossed the
nub.
In the shrub.
She went to the cops and confessed
to the attack,
They called out the hounds just to get his weenie
back.
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there"
To John
Bobbitt's weiner that was waving in the air.
Found, that is.
By a
fence.
Evidence.
Now peter and John couldn't
stay apart for long,
So a dick doc said, "Hey, I can fix that dong!"
"A
needle and a thread is all we're gonna need"
And the whole world waited till
they heard that Johnny pee'd.
Whizzed, that is.
Straight
stream.
Even seam.
Well he healed and he hardened and
he took his case to court,
With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up
short.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape
And his
pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape.
Video, that
is.
Unexposed.
Case Closed.
Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now
,
ya hear?????